“Tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people.”
“The BP oil spill is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.”
“Since Tom DeLay has done only two things since leaving politics – ‘Dancing with the Stars’, and now prison, somebody must tell him: there are easier ways to have sex with men.”
“The countries that have the money to offer large cash awards to the families of suicide bombers, or to send little boys to madrasah’s, the prep schools of hate, are getting that money from people using lots of oil.”
“The irony is what we love most about our cars—the feeling of freedom they provide—has made us slaves. Slaves to cheap oil, which has corrupted our politics, threatened our environment and funded our enemies.”
“The battle for good health is won on the cellular level”
“Laura Bush coming out for gay marriage! I guess if you’re married to W for 30 yrs you know you don’t have to be gay to have sex with an asshole.”
“The Real Axis of Evil in America is the Genius of our marketing and the gullibility of our people”
“It seems like we have to tax something, why not rich dead people? Of all the things you could tax; they don’t have any need for the money, on account of that whole being dead thing.”
“We fear different things. I fear climate change. They fear a demon in a red bodysuit… with a pitchfork.”
“Why are decent citizens still being jailed for smoking the wrong plant, easing the suffering of the terminally ill, or accepting cash for sex instead of the customary dinner and drinks?”
“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”
“Men are only as loyal as their options.”
“State of Union speeches – always remind me of the old Ed Sullivan show: something for everybody! The Beatles, Kate Smith, a fucking juggler”
“Michelle Bachman for President. As a comedian, all I can say is, where can I donate to this cause?”
“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”
“When you tolerate intolerance, you are not really being a liberal.”
“We owe China a trillion dollars. I opened a fortune cookie the other day, it said, ‘Pay up, deadbeat.'”
“Sarah Palin on her Facebook page said she still believes in death panels. You know what, Sarah, if we were going to get rid of useless people, you would be the first to know.”
“Why do people act shocked whenever NASCAR drivers get into an accident what?! No! One minute he’s flying around an oil-slicked track at 200 mph, and the next minute: gone!”
HEADLINES
June 28, 2019
HBO Real Time June 28th
Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D) is the first female combat veteran running to be President of the United States and the U.S. Representative for Hawaii’s 2nd congressional district. Gabbard currently serves on the House Committee on Armed Services and the Committee on Financial Services.
June 21, 2019
Real Time Hits 500 Episodes
Bill Maher: As He Hits 500 Episodes, the ‘Real Time’ Host Can’t Talk About Trump Much Longer
June 21, 2019
HBO Real Time June 21st
Allan Lichtman is a Distinguished Professor of History at American University and author of “The Case for Impeachment.”
June 15, 2019
DEAD MAN TALKING
This sounds like a clumsy plot twist in a John Grisham movie, but it’s not. The estranged daughter of Thomas Hofeller, the GOP operative nicknamed “the Michelangelo of gerrymandering,” recently discovered some of her late father’s hard drives in storage. Now, what they revealed isn’t shocking – that the Republicans are trying to use every trick they […]
July 14, 2019
HBO Real Time June 14th
George Will is a Washington Post syndicated columnist and author of the new book “The Conservative Sensibility.” He recently wrote about the updates being applied to college SAT scores for students that come from challenging social backgrounds.
May 31, 2019
HBO Real Time Guests: Friday, May 31, 2019
Gov. William Weldis a 2020 Republican Presidential Candidate. He served two terms as the Governor of Massachusetts and seven years in Department of Justice during the Reagan Administration.
April 6, 2019
HBO Real Time Apr. 26th
Rep. Adam Schiff (D) is the U.S. Representative for California’s 28th congressional district and Chairman of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence. In a recent op-ed for The Washington Post, he wrote that Congress must ensure that President Trump works for the American people – not foreign interests.
May 10, 2019
HBO Real Time May 10th
Michael Lewis is host of the “Against the Rules” podcast and author of the “The Fifth Risk.” His previous books, “Moneyball,” “The Blind Side” and “The Big Short,” were adapted into critically acclaimed films.
May 17, 2019
HBO Real Time May 17th
Twitter: Not a chance.
July 24, 2019
HAT CRIME
The Internet has no shortage of videos of people wearing MAGA hats in public places getting water thrown on them, having their hats snatched off their heads and, in some cases, being refused service.
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VIDEOS
Amazon Prime Real Estate
HBO Real Time Feb. 22, 2019
Overtime with Bill Maher: Trump Press, Civil Rights
Bill and his guests – Eric Holder, John Legend, Ana Marie Cox, David Axelrod, Thomas Friedman and Trae Crowder – answer viewer questions after the show.
Trump vs. Press, Fake News, Dem Priorities
Bill and his guests – Keith Olbermann, Heather McGhee, Tom Perez, and Jon Meacham – answer viewer questions after the show
Nukes, Gun Control, Obama Speeches
Bill and his Real Time panelists – Rob Reiner, Nick Hanauer and Tara Setmayer – answer viewer questions after the show.
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