“We owe China a trillion dollars. I opened a fortune cookie the other day, it said, ‘Pay up, deadbeat.'”
“The Pope has a Facebook page. That’s true, I’m not making that up. What’s creepy is that under the relationship status, he put ‘It’s complicated.'”
“Wow just read Oxford Dictionary added OMG and LOL as words! WTF??”
“Tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people.”
“I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws? “
“Since Tom DeLay has done only two things since leaving politics – ‘Dancing with the Stars’, and now prison, somebody must tell him: there are easier ways to have sex with men.”
“It is being reported that a third of the world watched the royal wedding – and yet they claim gays are only 3 pct of population?”
“State of Union speeches – always remind me of the old Ed Sullivan show: something for everybody! The Beatles, Kate Smith, a fucking juggler”
“Over half of Republicans believe in Creationism – for those too young to recall, they didn’t used to be the party of ignorance-what happened?”
“Men are only as loyal as their options.”
“Why are decent citizens still being jailed for smoking the wrong plant, easing the suffering of the terminally ill, or accepting cash for sex instead of the customary dinner and drinks?”
“To really understand how whack religion is, you have to look at the new religions– which for this country is Mormons and Scientologists. Who I think should merge and make Mormontology.”
“”Ha, we’re changing Operation Iraqi Freedom to Operation New Dawn – sounds like a Twilight movie – we’re not occupiers, we’re sexy vampires!”
“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”
“It seems like we have to tax something, why not rich dead people? Of all the things you could tax; they don’t have any need for the money, on account of that whole being dead thing.”
“Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel Maddow are what is ruining this country.”
“There was a revolution in the Arab country of Tunisia. Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it’s the name of one of Obama’s kids”
“Sarah Palin visited Israel and stood at the Wailing Wall and said ‘I stood here for 45 minutes and didn’t see one whale.'”
“The irony is what we love most about our cars—the feeling of freedom they provide—has made us slaves. Slaves to cheap oil, which has corrupted our politics, threatened our environment and funded our enemies.”
“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”
HEADLINES
June 28, 2019
HBO Real Time June 28th
Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D) is the first female combat veteran running to be President of the United States and the U.S. Representative for Hawaii’s 2nd congressional district. Gabbard currently serves on the House Committee on Armed Services and the Committee on Financial Services.
June 21, 2019
Real Time Hits 500 Episodes
Bill Maher: As He Hits 500 Episodes, the ‘Real Time’ Host Can’t Talk About Trump Much Longer
June 21, 2019
HBO Real Time June 21st
Allan Lichtman is a Distinguished Professor of History at American University and author of “The Case for Impeachment.”
June 15, 2019
DEAD MAN TALKING
This sounds like a clumsy plot twist in a John Grisham movie, but it’s not. The estranged daughter of Thomas Hofeller, the GOP operative nicknamed “the Michelangelo of gerrymandering,” recently discovered some of her late father’s hard drives in storage. Now, what they revealed isn’t shocking – that the Republicans are trying to use every trick they […]
July 14, 2019
HBO Real Time June 14th
George Will is a Washington Post syndicated columnist and author of the new book “The Conservative Sensibility.” He recently wrote about the updates being applied to college SAT scores for students that come from challenging social backgrounds.
May 31, 2019
HBO Real Time Guests: Friday, May 31, 2019
Gov. William Weldis a 2020 Republican Presidential Candidate. He served two terms as the Governor of Massachusetts and seven years in Department of Justice during the Reagan Administration.
April 6, 2019
HBO Real Time Apr. 26th
Rep. Adam Schiff (D) is the U.S. Representative for California’s 28th congressional district and Chairman of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence. In a recent op-ed for The Washington Post, he wrote that Congress must ensure that President Trump works for the American people – not foreign interests.
May 10, 2019
HBO Real Time May 10th
Michael Lewis is host of the “Against the Rules” podcast and author of the “The Fifth Risk.” His previous books, “Moneyball,” “The Blind Side” and “The Big Short,” were adapted into critically acclaimed films.
May 17, 2019
HBO Real Time May 17th
Twitter: Not a chance.
July 24, 2019
HAT CRIME
The Internet has no shortage of videos of people wearing MAGA hats in public places getting water thrown on them, having their hats snatched off their heads and, in some cases, being refused service.
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VIDEOS
Amazon Prime Real Estate
HBO Real Time Feb. 22, 2019
Overtime with Bill Maher: Trump Press, Civil Rights
Bill and his guests – Eric Holder, John Legend, Ana Marie Cox, David Axelrod, Thomas Friedman and Trae Crowder – answer viewer questions after the show.
Trump vs. Press, Fake News, Dem Priorities
Bill and his guests – Keith Olbermann, Heather McGhee, Tom Perez, and Jon Meacham – answer viewer questions after the show
Nukes, Gun Control, Obama Speeches
Bill and his Real Time panelists – Rob Reiner, Nick Hanauer and Tara Setmayer – answer viewer questions after the show.
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